


You're a Devil, man, and I'm a Fuckin' Saint

by miseret



Category: Vice Principals (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 21:17:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12826296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miseret/pseuds/miseret
Summary: Gamby and Russell have a real heart to heart.





	You're a Devil, man, and I'm a Fuckin' Saint

**Author's Note:**

> Title and inspiration from the song "Bad Bad People" by Tommy Wallach. Hope you thoroughly enjoy.

They always had great little conversations at the best of times.

“You’re just the devil man…the fuckin’ devil….”

“Oh, and what does that make you, a fuckin’ saint?”

Russell faltered for a second, stopping his movement.

“Yes.”

Gamby took a second to laugh out loud. “What a fucking joke. If I’m the devil, then you’re the guy who fucked the woman who gave birth to the devil. Or the woman who got fucked by the guy and gave birth to the devil. You get what I’m saying, right?”

“Shut up, you fuckin dumbass.”

“I-I’m just saying. You’re…pretty fucked up, dude.”

“Hell yeah I am, man, I’ve got your dick up my ass, you shit idiot.”

Gamby considered this. Thought long and hard about it. Long and hard. Haha.

Made sense. They were on Gamby’s shitty chair that he always sat on while contemplating the shit going on in his life. Pretty fitting to be fucking Russell on it.

“Yeah. And uh…” he trailed off due to a combination of trying to find the right words for a flirtatious compliment and Russell shifting on his dick impatiently.

“Huh?”

“You’re…pretty, fucked up…”

“…Fucking what?”

“Like, a double meaning of what I just said? Addressing you as “fucked up”, and saying you’re pretty? Because… uh… you look nice…”

“…hell yeah, of course I do.”

Gamby blushed, both because of his physical situation with his dick inserted into the ass of the motherfucker he’s been enemies and partners and weird friends and now…whatever they are now with, and also because he wasn’t used to being able to successfully compliment people.

“You’re, uh…”

Gamby looked up at Russell, surprised that he was saying something that wasn’t “you compliment like a bitch” or “you’re a shit head” or “why don’t you just fuck me you fucking fuckface”.

Russell looked like the words he was trying to say were setting both his throat and face on fire, with how he was choking on them and how red his face was, redder than Gamby’s.  
“…you’re not so bad yourself.”

Russell averted his eyes. Gamby was half convinced he was dreaming this, and not just because he was fucking Lee Russell, the shithead of all shitheads. He had never once in his life heard Russell compliment anyone, and certainly would never think that he would be the subject of what compliments he had.

Gamby told him this.

“God, shut up! Why don’t you just fuck me, you fucking fuckface!”

Gamby chuckled. He knew Russell too well.

“Your wish is my command.”

Gamby did as he was told, tentatively grabbing Russell’s hips in order to adequately maneuver him to his desire. Even in a situation such as this one, he was hesitant to touch him. He was such a mercurial motherfucker that touching him could result in anything from an explosion of anger or…well, what was happening right now, he guessed. Russell exhaled, visibly relaxing, glad to have the attention diverted from his feeble attempts at romance. They could talk about it another time.

As Gamby fucked Russell, he witnessed the strangest thing. Russell actually…seemed happy. Didn’t looked so stressed out, or caught up in scheming some violence or deceit, or acting like a goddamn idiot. Just enjoying himself, having a fun time being fucked by Gamby. Even though this might be a one time sort of thing, Gamby liked to think that Russell actually liked him for more than just his dick, as various awkward compliments and romantic comments indicated.

Gamby himself had come to terms with his feelings for Russell. Even though he still thought he was an evil, stupid, and fake bastard, he couldn’t deny that his relationship with Russell is the closest he’s been with someone in a very long time. It seemed often that Russell knew Gamby better than he knew himself, and vice versa. The things that they’ve done together, the shit they’ve been through, that forged a special bond between them that neither of them could ever hope to make with anyone else. Both of them were shitheads, and they probably would never find other people who could tolerate their shitheadery more than each other. And if Gamby had to spend his time with any shithead, he’d choose Russell every time.

Also, he was pretty hot.

This was certainly reinforced as watched Russell go down on him, face contorted in pleasure, groans being pulled from his throat, a bead of sweat rolling down his face. He still had his lavender button up shirt on, unbuttoned, and his stupid pink tie was still loosely around his neck. It added to his whole disheveled look.  
Gamby leaned over, bringing his mouth to Russell’s ear, and bit his earlobe a bit before saying,

“If I’m the devil, and you’re a saint, then there’s no saint I’d rather corrupt than you.”

As soon as Gamby said it he thought it sounded pretty stupid, but instead of hearing Russell agreeing that it was stupid or telling him to shut up, he heard Russell groan even louder, felt the vibrations of it against his throat. Gamby grunted, both in surprise that he wasn’t berated and in overwhelming arousal. He was getting pretty close, and he wanted to finish at the same time as Russell. He started pushing into him faster, and grabbed Russell’s dick for extra effect. Russell buried his face into Gamby’s shoulder and let out a high-pitched whine, the sound somewhat muffled. Gamby thought that was pretty cute and funny and would definitely bring it up smugly later. He kept this up for a little bit and shortly Russell tightly embraced him, groaned out “oh, fuck”, and came. Gamby fucked him through it and came a few seconds later with a groan.

They sat like that for a few minutes, holding each other in an uncharacteristically tender manner.

Gamby felt like he should say something, but he didn’t know what. He started with “I, uh—“ but was cut off by Russell grabbing his face and kissing him. Not aggressively like he did earlier in the night, but gently, like they were old lovers. Gamby returned the kiss, pretty bemused at the situation. He didn’t even think that Russell had the emotional capacity to give someone a genuine smile, much less to kiss someone softly and lovingly. They broke apart and Gamby rested his forehead on Russell’s.

“…Not to imply that you’re actually good at anything, but…that was pretty good,” Russell said. He averted his gaze like he had earlier and blushed as if he had just admitted his greatest secret. He actually probably had, in his own convoluted, fucked up way. Gamby understood what he meant besides his surface meaning—he figured from Russell’s tender actions and stunted compliment that this wouldn’t just be a one night stand or that this wouldn’t change anything between them. Of course they would still call each other shitheads or dumbasses or pussies or dickheads, but it wouldn’t be because they hated each other’s guts. No, it would probably be their fucked up way of saying “I love you”, since they both knew that they really did love each other but were both too stupid and cowardly to put it into words.

“Hey, earth to fuckhead. Are you just going to sit here slowly crushing me with your fat ass or are you going to get up so we can go to bed?”

Gamby brought himself back from his thoughts. He smiled, half wanting to say something witty back, but he decided to just pick Russell up and carry him bridal-style to his bed. 

“What the fuck is this, you little bitch? Just because we just fucked doesn’t mean I can’t walk a few goddamned feet to your fucking bed,” Russell protested, but he didn’t make any moves to try to escape Gamby’s arms. Gamby laughed, brought him to the bed, and dropped him on it.

“Fuck, drop me like that again and I’ll kick your ass,” Russell threatened. Gamby snorted.

“I’d like to see you try.”

“You saw how I knocked out that dumbfuck Jackie with those brass knuckles, didn’t you?”

“You wouldn’t want to hurt your Lover, would you?” Gamby said this both as a taunt and as a backhanded way of seeing how Russell felt about him.  
Russell faltered, thinking of what exactly to say next.

“…I guess not.”

With that Russell got under the covers and closed his eyes. Gamby stood there, dumbfounded once again that the words out of Russell’s mouth weren’t insults.

“Wha—“

“Go to sleep, Neal.”

Gamby got under the covers.

“Yeah but—“

“Neal.”

“—does this mean that we’re—that we’re lovers?”

“Neal fucking Gamby. I need to go to sleep. We can have a deep fucking talk about our relationship in the morning when I am physically capable of holding a conversation.”

“I—uh, okay. Goodnight, Lee.”

“Goodnight, Neal.”


End file.
